In this latest episode of our podcast, discover Jarry's story, a moving journey of love, struggle and perseverance.
Through the trials and tribulations of Gestation Pour Autrui (GPA), Jarry overcame obstacles to realize his dream of becoming a parent.
Marion shares her experience of PMA. How two strangers share the story of their incredible journey to parenthood. Listen to this podcast on all listening platforms. Feel free to comment, like and share our podcast: La Famelia
For many couples, adoption is a complex and often discouraging process. Waiting times can be as long as ten years, especially for same-sex couples. Prejudice and administrative barriers make adoption even more difficult, driving some couples to explore other options, such as GPA.
"There was a form of homophobia, it's very complicated to prove it" - Jarry to Marion
What is GPA, surrogate motherhood?
GPA, or Gestation Pour Autrui, enables a couple to have a child without one of the members of the couple carrying the child. A third party to the couple carries a fetus for 9 months, giving birth to a child that is not her own, but that of the couple for whom she has agreed to give birth. GPA is a practice that enables infertile couples or individuals to have a child without going through the adoption process. It's the possibility for a homosexual couple to have a child born through the mother's egg donation or the father's sperm donation. In GPA, the child can benefit from the mother's oocyte and the father's sperm, without the biological mother carrying the child in her womb.
This practice raises many questions, and its legality and the conditions under which it is carried out vary from country to country.
GPA is not authorized in France. French couples can therefore not resort to GPA on French territory.
Homosexuality and GPA
The decision to turn to GPA:
After encountering obstacles in their adoption attempts, Jarry and her partner turned to GPA as a viable alternative. They traveled to the United States, where GPA is tightly regulated. Couples must contact organizations approved by the country to begin the process. This often involves a thorough social investigation and rigorous medical tests.
The stages of GPA
The surrogacy process is long and can be very stressful and tiring. Couples have to answer detailed questions about their lives and values, while donors and surrogate mothers are also subjected to a rigorous evaluation process. From the creation of the file, the social and medical investigations, and the selection of egg donors and surrogate mothers to the birth of the child, it can take up to 10 years.
"you have to know that the surrogate mother is different from the donor. It's forbidden, you can't do both, they're 2 different stages." says Jarry
Challenges and highlights during GPA
The GPA process can be emotionally and physically demanding for all involved. Extensive medical tests, psychological interviews and delicate choices concerning donors and surrogates are all part of the journey.
What's more, the process can reveal unexpected information, such as a blockage in the procedure due to previously undetected medical conditions.
"They still found a genetic disease in my companion that we'd never seen in France." Jarry tells Marion.
Questions about separation, child custody and family values are addressed during social inquiries. A surrogate mother or couple can back out at any time
Key moments in the GPA process for same-sex couples
Once the egg donors and surrogate mothers have been identified, the sperm donation and implantation process begins.
Donors provide high-quality eggs, while fathers-to-be provide sperm. "I think it was really the creepiest day we've ever been through.".
The embryos are implanted in the same way as for a MAP transfer, respecting the menstrual cycle and hoping for a successful pregnancy.
Results and challenges during the surrogacy process
For some couples, the GPA process results in pregnancy and the birth of their child. However, the path can be fraught with difficulties, and some couples may face unforeseen challenges along the way. Despite this, many couples find the journey worthwhile to realize their dream of becoming parents. "It's a 1 in 3 chance of it working out, and we made it work the first time. We knew after a week of pregnancy that it was going to be twins."
What is the relationship with the surrogate mother in GPA?
In the United States, and also in the case of Jarry, who opted for absolute transparency with her children, some parents maintain contact with the surrogate mother and egg donor, allowing the children to know their story from an early age... ."Ever since they were toddlers, when they started asking questions, we really made the choice to tell them their real story" says Jarry
What are the taboos surrounding GPA?
Some couples choose to keep their GPA journey private, while others share it openly, defending their choice with passion and conviction. Such is the case with Jarry, who talks openly about it to break taboos and give hope to both homosexual and heterosexual couples about their parenthood!
How much does GPA cost?
GPA involves high costs and sometimes provokes social judgment, but for many, the investment is worth it to realize the dream of becoming parents. "What's expensive in GPA today are the medical costs. In the United States, to give an example, a blood test costs around $1,200, so imagine a day in hospital."
Adoption for homosexual couples: an alternative to PMA and GPA
Jarry explains that adoption has been an option for him and his partner, but it also involves financial and emotional challenges, with a disproportionate number of applications compared to actual adoptions, particularly for same-sex couples, such as
From legal restrictions in many countries, adoption laws may not recognize or allow adoption by same-sex couples, limiting their options.
Discrimination against same-sex couples by agencies who consider them less suitable for adopting a child.
Same-sex couples may face social disapproval or prejudice when seeking to adopt a child, which can make the process more emotionally challenging.
Access can be uneven in countries where adoption by same-sex couples is legal, and they may face additional obstacles and challenges in finding adoption agencies or programs willing to help them.
Same-sex couples have long waiting lists and complex procedures, which can be even harder for same-sex couples to cope with because of the additional hurdles they face.
What's the difference between GPA and PMA?
GPA, or Gestation Pour Autrui, enables a couple to have a child without one of the members of the couple carrying the child. A third party to the couple carries a fetus for 9 months, giving birth to a child that is not her own, but that of the couple for whom she has agreed to give birth. GPA is a practice that enables infertile couples or individuals to have a child without going through the adoption process. It's the possibility for a homosexual couple to have a child born through the mother's egg donation or the father's sperm donation. In GPA, the child can benefit from the mother's oocyte and the father's sperm, without the biological mother carrying the child in her womb.
This practice raises many questions, and its legality and the conditions under which it is carried out vary from country to country.
GPA is not authorized in France. French couples can therefore not resort to GPA on French territory.
PMA, or Medically Assisted Procreation, Medically Assisted Reproduction (MAP) is a series of medical techniques that enable couples who have difficulty conceiving, infertile couples and single women to have a child. The main techniques include artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization (IVF) and embryo reception. These methods are accessible to all, without discrimination based on sexual orientation or marital status.
GPA is often stigmatized, but it can be a solution for couples who are unable to have children or who cannot conceive naturally.
Controversy and prejudice aside, the desire to start a family remains a profoundly human aspiration. Through Jarry's story shared in this podcast, we witness the diversity of paths taken to achieve the goal of parenthood.
Shall we keep in touch?