How did I get over vaginismus?

How did I get over vaginismus?

Becoming aware of my vaginismus and the road to recovery


To read the first part of Monica's testimonial, click here!

When did I start to m'worry?

Things really started to get complicated when I realized that I was still in pain more than 6 months after my very first intercourse. Sex was as painful and complicated as ever. And worst of all, the pain I felt swas accompanied by tensing and trembling. I always had this strong feeling that my vagina was closing* at the moment of penetration. 

My legs shook and closed and I still felt that deep sense of disappointment. 

The pain-contraction-impossibility of intercourse mechanism s'continued for many months. The pain was so intense that I ended up developing a real fear of penetration. I had no problem with caresses. But when it came to s'penetration, my body refused to cooperate. 

I ended up avoiding sex altogether. I didn't want to be in pain, I didn't want to brace myself and I didn't want to suffer. That's when I knew something was wrong. The first time can be painful, but if the pain doesn't go away after a few words, it's not normal.

Besides, pain during penetration is not normal. Pain in general is always a good indicator of dysfunction inside the body l. If you feel pain during penetration, don't wait for it to go away on its own: take your courage in both hands and go and see a specialist who can help you.

Making llove is supposed to be pleasant and enjoyable. But for me, it was synonymous with suffering: either I continued to avoid intercourse at the risk of jeopardizing my relationship

*In reality, my vagina wasn't closing. What gave me the impression of closure was the reflex contraction of my perineum, which made penetration impossible.


When should you go for a consultation? 

I was very much in love, and even though the man I was with was patient, I couldn't tolerate the situation any longer. I wanted to be able to make love without having to suffer martyrdom. I wanted to feel pleasure during penetration.

I didn't want to spend the rest of my life suffering for sex. What malso drove me to seek help was the fear of being left.

It's true, after all, I hadn't chosen to suffer from vaginismus - I was afraid it would go away. I saw myself as a girl incapable of making love. And that's why, 9 months after my first intercourse, I decided to talk to a professional about it for the first time. 


Who did I consult to heal?

At first, I didn't know where to turn. The first professional I spoke to was my GP (who is a woman and trained in gynecology). She gave priority to dyspareunia and m referred me to a psychologist.

The sessions with the psychologist m'had really freed me psychologically. Even though he wasn't a specialist in sexuality, he still took the time to m'listen to me and give me ideas on how to heal from my trauma. I then consulted a hypnotherapist at the same time.

I was aware that I also needed to treat the "physical" aspect, which is why I had also consulted a private midwife specializing in perineal rehabilitation. It was this midwife who diagnosed my vaginismus. She was very gentle and understanding towards me. I remember she did a vaginal touch* to see if I had any anatomical problems. She mexplained that if I ever felt any pain or discomfort, I should let her know. I must insist on this point: no professional has the right to perform a medical act without your consent. She had just placed her index finger at the entrance to my vagina and I remember feeling a very strong burning sensation, but it wasn't unbearable. 

Thanks to this midwife, I was able to really become aware of the muscles surrounding my vagina and focus attention on my sex.

Thanks to these professionals, I was able to m'move forward little by little in my healing process. However, sexual relations were still very complicated and I was still in pain. I'm not in any way questioning their skills. But when you suffer from vaginismus, it's important to have real support. You can't go to a midwife, psychologist or hypnotherapist every week. You have to wait to get an appointment.

The diagnosis was made: I did indeed suffer from vaginismus. But I still wasn't cured. I felt like throwing in the towel land resigning myself to non-penetrative sex for the rest of my life. But I didn't want to give up.

I wanted to have the choice to have penetrative sex or not. I didn't want to feel compelled to shun penetration. So I started researching on the Internet and that's when I came across the method that would m'bring healing.

*The vaginal touch is a medical procedure that involves examining the inside of the vagina by inserting the index and middle fingers. Professionals authorized to perform a vaginal exam include general practitioners, gynecologists, midwives and obstetricians. 

How did I get better?

The first thing I did was book a free diagnostic call with one of the coaches who m'explained how it was going to work. It s'was an online program that was created especially by a woman who had suffered from vaginismus in the past. I immediately felt understood. I was finally surrounded by people who had been through the same thing as me. When I joined the program, what mreally helped me was that it was based on a tailor-made healing method, specially designed for women who suffer from vaginismus.

At first, it seemed too good to be true. Even though I knew I'd be cured one day, I imagined it would take years. 

Thanks to the :

● I was able to work on my state of mind thanks to videos and concrete exercises that m'allowed me to believe 100% in my recovery.

● I have been accompanied on my healing journey by coaches who have themselves experienced vaginismus in the past.

● I was able to rediscover my body and learn to love it again on a daily basis thanks to practical exercises.

● I was able to work on the various psychological blocks I had

● I was able to use the vaginal dilators with complete peace of mind thanks to the coach and the coaching sessions.

● I was able to join a community of caring women thanks to the fortnightly coaching sessions and the weekly follow-up sheet, which kept me focused on my goals. 

Thanks to all these different elements, I was able to cure vaginismus in 1? months. I was really shocked. I really didn't mexpect to heal so quickly, given that I had quite a complicated history and a lot of psychological blocks. I was more than happy the day I felt truly healed. I mremember it like it was yesterday. It was a morning and I remember that the penetration was fluid. It went "like clockwork". I wasn't afraid and I didn't m'tense up. It just slid in. And that's when I realized that I was truly healed. 

If you'd like to find out more about the method that m's cured you, please note that s's method is called Je guéris du vaginisme ® (I'm cured of vaginismus).

Today I'm an editor, writing advice and tips articles to help women suffering from vaginismus on their healing journey.

For an overview of the articles I write, please click here.

Lhe purpose of this testimonial is to give you the strength and courage to take your healing into your own hands. I know that vaginismus is very difficult to live with. I know that it's a disorder that's as painful physically as it is psychologically. I've gone through phases of denial, shame, sadness and even anger at times. But vaginismus, although still little-known in the medical world, is curable, and I'm living proof of that.

You're not alone in this fight, and if I've been able to cure vaginismus, so can you!

If you m've read this far, I thank you!

See you soon!


We remind you that to relieve the pain associated with vaginismus, the use of menstrual briefs is highly recommended.

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The information contained in the articles on is general information only. Although reviewed by health professionals, this information is not error-free, does not constitute health advice or consultation, and is not intended to provide a diagnosis or suggest a course of treatment. Under no circumstances may this information be used as a substitute for medical advice or consultation with a healthcare professional. If you have any questions, please consult your doctor.