How to live a caring motherhood?

Tip 1: A beautiful maternity by finding your personal balance when baby arrives

Listen to yourself! Don't feel pressured into a perfect balance of the different spheres of your life (by which we mean: family, social, sports etc.), but rather do your best. Listen to your needs and your child's needs in the present moment. For example, if one week you feel the need to get away from it all by doing a lot of sport and focusing less on your family life, and a week later it's the opposite, there's no problem. Listen to your own feelings, and know which areas of your life you need at which times. 

And don't hesitate to get help if you feel you need it, both psychologically, where health professionals are on hand to support you, and physically. 

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Tip 2: At the maternity hospital, delegate what you can no longer manage 

The arrival of a new baby inevitably upsets the balance in the home. Reorganization is required, and daily life is likely to be turned upside down. So why not delegate time-consuming activities such as household chores? You can enlist the help of your family, your children if they're older, or hire a home help if you can afford it. It's also very important that the mental burden of daily chores is well distributed within the couple: it shouldn't fall on just one person.

Tip 3: Finding balance in your relationship as soon as you leave the maternity ward

The arrival of a child can sometimes be complicated for mothers who no longer know how to reconcile everything: work, motherhood, social life, but also time for themselves.

It can be complicated to find the right balance individually, for both parents, but also in the couple itself, and in the relationship with the newborn. The birth of a child is a real upheaval.

Everyone has their own vision of parenthood, and it's sometimes difficult to agree as a couple on a parenting model. 

Agree on the child's upbringing to gain serenity: With the arrival of a baby, new parents are thrown into turmoil by everyone's emotions, needs and desires. Talk to each other, listen to each other and be kind to each other. You're going through precious and difficult times - now's the time to stick together! 

There are several tips to help you cope with this upheaval and regain your balance as a couple: 

• First of all, accept that your partner has a different vision of parenthood from yours, so that you can find compromises.

• Position yourself as complementary to your partner, rather than in a dominant/dominated relationship. Don't forget that this is a new situation, and that you're both learning. 

• Take care of yourself before you can take care of your relationship and give it time (e.g. reading a book, watching TV together, etc.).

Tip 4: Enjoying motherhood means s'taking time out just for yourself

How can you be good to others if you're not good to yourself? A top mother is also a mother who takes time for herself. If you feel that your energy level is low, go and decompress, whether it's by going out, to the hairdresser, taking a bath, going to the cinema, a sports session, a shopping trip... In short: find something that makes you feel good and allows you to recharge your batteries. Why not set aside a time each week, like a ritual, during which you take time for yourself?

Tip 5: Motherhood means accepting that you're not a perfect parent

We often tend to want our lives to be perfect, in every respect: a perfectly tidy house, a happy couple where both individuals agree on everything, being productive in both our professional careers and our personal lives. 

Don't put pressure on yourself: you'll find your balance as you go along. Prioritize your needs in the moment, and that's how you'll achieve overall balance, by listening to yourself. Parenthood is a path full of pitfalls, in which learning is permanent and never completely acquired or set in stone.

Tip 6: Get help

There's nothing shameful about getting help, whether it's for your personal balance, from a psychologist, or for your relationship, in couples therapy. Sometimes, no matter how hard we communicate, we just can't find common ground. Going to see someone whose specialty and profession it is can help you find the keys to help your relationship.

How long does it take to regain equilibrium?

It's perfectly normal to find yourself in periods that are more complicated than others. It can take several months to find a balance and stabilize. Balance is never achieved once and for all, and you need to take care of it and seek help if necessary.